Exactly What to Say
Your Personal Guide to the Mastery of Magic Words
Book Edition Details
Summary
"Exactly What to Say (2017) is designed to provide you with the key phrases and words to make your conversations count and bring you success. It contains magic words. Words that are heard and interpreted by the subconscious mind. Words which will help you get the results you want."
Introduction
Have you ever walked away from a conversation wishing you had said something different? Perhaps you've watched colleagues effortlessly influence others while you struggle to get your ideas heard. The truth is, success often hinges not on what we know, but on how we communicate what we know. Every day, we face moments where the right words could open doors, create connections, and transform outcomes. Yet most of us rely on instinct rather than strategy when it comes to the art of persuasion. The difference between those who consistently get what they want and those who don't often comes down to understanding the precise triggers that cause shifts in people's belief systems. When you master the subtle science of word choice, you gain access to conversations that truly count, relationships that flourish, and results that seemed impossible before.
Building Bridges: Words That Open Doors and Create Connection
The most powerful conversations begin with eliminating the fear of rejection entirely. When Phil Jones discovered the magic phrase "I'm not sure if it's for you, but," he unlocked a rejection-free approach that would transform countless interactions. This seemingly simple combination works by speaking directly to the subconscious brain, which responds to patterns programmed since childhood. Consider the story of Roger, a telecommunications professional who struggled to explain complex digital technology to confused customers. For years, he attempted to dazzle them with technical knowledge, only to watch their eyes glaze over. Then came his breakthrough moment. When customers asked "How does all this stuff work?" instead of launching into lengthy explanations, Roger simply replied, "It works great." Nine times out of ten, customers were delighted with this answer. The transformation was immediate and profound. Roger's success illustrates a fundamental truth about human communication: sometimes the most powerful response is the simplest one. By removing complexity and potential overwhelm, he created space for trust and forward momentum. His sales results soared because he learned to give answers that were positive, effortless, and confidence-building rather than confusing. To implement this bridge-building approach, start with phrases that lower resistance before presenting any opportunity. Use "How open-minded are you about" to naturally attract people toward your ideas, since everyone wants to see themselves as open-minded. Follow up with "Just imagine" to help people visualize positive outcomes in their minds. Remember, people make decisions based on the pictures they see in their imagination. Practice these connection-building phrases in low-stakes conversations first. Notice how the energy shifts when you remove pressure from your communication. The goal is creating an environment where others feel safe to explore possibilities without feeling cornered or manipulated.
Guiding Decisions: Phrases That Lead Others to Yes
Decision-making becomes infinitely easier when you understand that people are motivated by either avoiding loss or acquiring gain, with loss avoidance being the stronger driver. The phrase "How would you feel if" transports people into future scenarios where they can experience the emotions of both success and failure, creating powerful motivation for change. Phil Jones worked with a business owner struggling to help team members commit to new opportunities. Using the three-options framework, he would paint a vivid picture: "You're currently in a job you kind of hate with long hours, family separation, and insufficient money. As I see it, you have three options. First, you could look for another job, dealing with resumes, interviews, and likely finding similar work for similar pay. Second, you could do nothing and accept your circumstances. Or third, you could try this opportunity alongside your current work and see how far you go." The transformation was remarkable. By presenting the choice as "What's going to be easier for you?" the laborious job search became obviously unappealing, staying put was already rejected, leaving only the path of least resistance. People began choosing opportunities they had previously found difficult to commit to. The business owner watched team after team embrace change with enthusiasm rather than resistance. This success demonstrates how proper framing eliminates decision paralysis. When you present choices that are clearly polarizing, people naturally gravitate toward the option that feels both logical and emotional simultaneously. The key is making one choice obviously superior without making people feel manipulated. To guide decisions effectively, first identify what your listener wants to move toward or away from. Then create contrast between their current unsatisfactory situation and the potential positive outcome. Use phrases like "Most people in your situation" to provide social proof and "If I can, will you" to isolate objections and create conditional agreements. Always remember that timing matters tremendously. The best moment to ask for commitment is immediately after someone expresses gratitude, because "thank you" indicates they feel indebted to you. Strike while this positive energy is at its peak.
Overcoming Resistance: Language That Transforms Objections into Opportunities
Every objection represents a shift in conversational control, but skilled communicators know how to quickly regain the upper hand. The secret lies in treating objections not as roadblocks, but as questions that reveal deeper concerns. When someone says "I need time to think about it," they're rarely planning detailed analysis—they're pushing the decision to another day. Jones recalls working with a client who consistently heard this objection after delivering thorough presentations. Frustrated by the vague response after investing significant time and energy, he wanted to shout "What exactly do you need to think about?" Instead, he learned to preface direct questions with "Just out of curiosity" to transform potentially rude inquiries into gentle exploration. This simple addition made challenging questions feel soft and reasonable. The results were transformative. When he asked "Just out of curiosity, what is it specifically you need some time to think about?" prospects either provided honest transparency about their real concerns or realized they didn't actually have valid reasons for delay. Many responded with "You know what, you're right. There isn't anything to think about" and moved forward immediately. This approach works because it forces people to examine the foundation of their hesitation. Often, they discover their resistance was based on habit rather than legitimate concerns. The key is maintaining silence after asking these direct questions, allowing the full weight of the inquiry to settle. This patience creates space for authentic revelation and genuine decision-making. To overcome resistance consistently, master the art of questioning rather than arguing. Use "What makes you say that?" to understand the real source of objections. Apply "Before you make your mind up" to prevent premature rejection and create openness to additional information. Remember that moving someone from "no" to "maybe" is your first victory—from there, you can guide them toward "yes." The most powerful resistance-breakers acknowledge the other person's concerns while redirecting toward solution-focused thinking. Practice patience, maintain curiosity, and always seek to understand before seeking to be understood.
Summary
The journey from ordinary conversation to extraordinary influence begins with recognizing that words are tools of transformation. As this exploration reveals, "Everything you have learned is simple, easy to do and works—it just works with most of the people most of the time." The compound effect of subtle language improvements, combined with the ability to know exactly what to say when it matters most, can elevate your ambition and drive to levels you never imagined possible. Success isn't about manipulating others, but about creating genuine value through clearer, more effective communication. Your next conversation is an opportunity to practice these principles. Choose one phrase that resonates most strongly with you, commit to using it three times this week, and pay attention to how people respond differently. Small changes in language create profound changes in outcomes.
By Phil M. Jones
