
Get Out of Your Own Way
A Skeptic’s Guide to Growth and Fulfillment
Book Edition Details
Summary
"Get Out of Your Own Way (2020) explores the limiting thoughts and lies that can stop us from growing, feeling fulfilled, and being fully present for our loved ones. By debunking his own self-created untruths with candor and humor, author Dave Hollis provides insight into how you can overcome similar long-held positions and start living the best version of your life."
Introduction
What if the biggest obstacle standing between you and the life you truly want is staring back at you in the mirror? We live in a world where we're quick to blame external circumstances for our limitations, yet the most profound breakthroughs happen when we realize that our greatest enemy is often ourselves. The lies we tell ourselves, the limiting beliefs we've accepted as truth, and the unconscious patterns that keep us playing small—these internal barriers are what truly hold us back. This isn't about achieving perfection or having it all figured out. It's about recognizing the specific ways we sabotage our own success and learning to step aside so our authentic potential can emerge. The journey from self-sabotage to self-empowerment begins with one crucial realization: you have more control over your destiny than you think, but only if you're willing to stop being your own worst enemy.
Stop Believing the Lies That Hold You Back
The foundation of personal transformation lies in identifying and dismantling the false narratives that govern our decisions. These lies aren't just random thoughts—they're deeply ingrained beliefs that shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. They whisper that we're not qualified enough, smart enough, or deserving enough to pursue our dreams. Consider the story of a successful entertainment executive who spent seventeen years at Disney, climbing to the position of distribution president. Despite his impressive title and financial success, he found himself trapped in what should have been his dream job. The lie he believed was that his work defined his worth as a person. When the challenge disappeared from his role and success became too easy, he spiraled into depression because his identity was so intertwined with professional achievement. This false belief nearly cost him his marriage and his sense of purpose. The breakthrough came when he realized that his value as a human being existed independently of his job title or salary. Through therapy and honest self-reflection, he learned to separate who he was from what he did professionally. This shift in perspective gave him the courage to leave his prestigious position and pursue work that aligned with his true calling, even though it meant walking away from financial security and industry status. Breaking free from limiting beliefs requires three essential steps: first, identify the specific lies you've been telling yourself about what's possible for your life. Second, trace these beliefs back to their origins—often childhood experiences or societal conditioning. Third, actively replace these false narratives with empowering truths supported by evidence from your actual capabilities and achievements. Remember, the stories you tell yourself become the reality you live in.
Build Authentic Relationships That Serve You
True connection requires vulnerability, yet many of us build relationships on carefully constructed facades of perfection. Authentic relationships are built on mutual understanding, not mutual deception. When we hide our struggles and weaknesses, we rob ourselves of the deep connections that sustain us through life's challenges. The transformation begins when we learn to use vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness. A powerful example comes from a marriage where one partner spent years trying to be the perfect husband by never showing weakness or admitting uncertainty. He negotiated business deals worth billions but couldn't navigate a simple disagreement with his wife because he was too proud to admit when he was wrong or didn't have all the answers. The turning point came during a heated discussion about his wife's book manuscript. Despite his certainty that major changes were needed, he was spectacularly wrong. The book became a number one bestseller precisely because of the vulnerable stories he wanted to remove. This humbling experience taught him that his marriage wasn't a business negotiation to be won—it was a partnership requiring genuine communication and mutual support. Building authentic relationships starts with abandoning the need to appear perfect. Share your struggles with trusted friends and family members. Ask for help when you need it. Admit when you're wrong and apologize sincerely when you make mistakes. Most importantly, learn to listen without trying to fix everything. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give someone is your presence and understanding, not your solutions.
Create Systems for Sustainable Growth
Personal growth isn't a destination—it's a daily practice that requires intentional systems and habits. Without proper structure, our good intentions remain just that: intentions. Sustainable change happens when we create environments and routines that make success inevitable rather than dependent on willpower alone. The power of systems became clear for someone struggling with alcohol as a coping mechanism during a major life transition. Despite knowing that drinking was holding him back, the habit persisted because he relied on willpower alone to overcome it. The breakthrough came when he built a comprehensive system: he removed alcohol from his home, found alternative stress-relief activities, created accountability with friends and family, and established new routines that didn't include drinking as a reward or escape. Rather than fighting the urge to drink, he redesigned his environment and daily structure to support his new identity as someone who didn't need alcohol. He started each day with exercise, planned healthy meals in advance, and created specific rituals for handling stress and anxiety. After months of sobriety, he discovered that his energy levels increased, his relationships improved, and his business performance soared. Creating systems for growth requires identifying your triggers and designing specific responses. Map out your daily routines and identify the moments when you typically make poor choices. Then create alternative pathways that make better choices easier. Whether it's placing workout clothes by your bed to encourage morning exercise or scheduling weekly date nights to strengthen your marriage, success comes from making desired behaviors automatic rather than optional.
Live with Intention and Discipline
The gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it consistently is where most people fail. Living with intention means making conscious choices aligned with your values and goals, while discipline provides the daily execution that turns intentions into reality. This combination creates a life of purpose rather than one driven by circumstance and reaction. A profound example of intentional living emerged during a couple's adoption journey that stretched over five years. Instead of approaching the process with hope alone, they made deliberate choices about how to handle uncertainty and disappointment. When their first adoption fell through after having twin babies in their home for weeks, they had to decide whether to retreat to safety or continue pursuing their dream of having a daughter. The intentional choice was to continue, despite the pain of loss and uncertainty about the future. They disciplined themselves to stay open to possibility while learning from each setback. This meant having difficult conversations about their capacity for resilience, making financial sacrifices, and maintaining faith when logic suggested giving up. Their discipline in staying committed to growth through adversity ultimately led to successfully adopting their daughter Noah. Living intentionally requires three daily practices: morning reflection on your priorities, consistent action toward your most important goals regardless of how you feel, and evening evaluation of whether your actions matched your intentions. Discipline isn't about perfection—it's about returning to your path when you inevitably stray. Start each day by asking yourself: "How would the person I want to become show up today?" Then act on that vision, knowing that small consistent actions create extraordinary results over time.
Summary
The journey from self-sabotage to self-empowerment isn't about becoming someone new—it's about removing the barriers that prevent you from being who you already are deep down. As this exploration reveals, "The decision falls to you and you alone to believe in the truth that you are here for a reason, that you matter, and that the outside measures are nothing compared to your belief in yourself." Every limitation you face is either real and requires creative solutions, or imagined and needs to be discarded. Most often, it's the latter. Start today by choosing one lie you've been believing about yourself or your circumstances, and take a single concrete action that proves that lie wrong. Your future self is waiting on the other side of your excuses.

By Dave Hollis