I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was
How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It
Book Edition Details
Summary
Feeling directionless and yearning for more? I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was (1994) by Barbara Sher is your guide to finding your passion and living a life you love. Recapture lost goals, overcome blocks, and learn practical techniques to decide what you truly want and create a richly rewarding career rooted in your heart's desire.
Introduction
Have you ever felt like you're standing at the edge of your own life, knowing you have incredible potential but unable to figure out what direction to take? You're not alone. Millions of people wake up each day with a nagging sense that they're capable of so much more, yet they remain stuck in jobs that drain their energy and lives that feel somehow off-track. The problem isn't lack of ability or opportunity—it's that something inside is blocking you from knowing what you truly want. This internal resistance creates confusion, self-doubt, and a frustrating cycle of starting and stopping. But here's the truth: you do know what you want. Deep down, beneath the noise of expectations and fears, your authentic desires are waiting to be discovered. The key is learning to identify and overcome the specific internal conflicts that keep your dreams hidden from view.
Discover Your Authentic Self Beneath the Expectations
The first step toward finding your true path is understanding the difference between what you're "supposed" to be doing and what you're meant to be doing. Most of us carry invisible messages from childhood about what constitutes a worthy life, and these messages often conflict with our authentic desires. Your genuine interests aren't random whims—they're breadcrumbs leading you toward your authentic self. Consider Jack, a successful business consultant who felt increasingly miserable despite his impressive career trajectory. He had never consciously chosen his profession—instead, he had simply followed the path of least resistance through school and into the most prestigious job that would accept him. When he finally took time to examine his childhood dreams, he remembered his fascination with different cultures and his love of storytelling. Jack's transformation began when he stopped trying to live up to external expectations and started listening to his inner voice. This realization led him to become a freelance writer specializing in travel and cultural documentation. He discovered that his business skills weren't wasted—they helped him navigate the freelance world successfully. But now those skills served his passion rather than replacing it. To begin your own discovery process, create two lists: one of what your family and society expect from you, and another of activities that make you lose track of time. Notice the conflicts between these lists. The tension you feel isn't a character flaw—it's valuable information pointing toward your authentic self. Start small by dedicating just thirty minutes a week to something from your second list, regardless of whether it seems "practical" or "worthwhile" to others.
Transform Fear Into Your Greatest Compass for Growth
Every time you move toward something you truly want, a voice in your head will try to talk you out of it. This isn't weakness—it's a normal psychological defense mechanism trying to protect you from perceived danger. The problem is that this protective voice often mistakes growth for threat and keeps you stuck in unsatisfying but familiar situations. Fear operates as both protector and prison warden, keeping you safe from potential disappointment while preventing you from experiencing the joy of pursuing what you love. Lisa had been offered her dream job at a prestigious magazine, but as the start date approached, she found herself sabotaging the opportunity. She began missing important meetings, arriving late, and generally acting in ways that were completely out of character. When she examined her resistance, she realized she was terrified of succeeding because her family had always struggled financially, and she unconsciously believed that surpassing them would mean abandoning them. Once Lisa understood the source of her self-sabotage, she could address it directly. She had honest conversations with her family about her fears and discovered they were proud of her success, not threatened by it. She also worked on separating her identity from her family's financial struggles, recognizing that her success could actually help them rather than hurt them. To identify your own resistance patterns, pay attention to what happens when you commit to pursuing something you want. Do you suddenly get "busy" with less important tasks? Do you find reasons why the opportunity isn't quite right? Write down the specific fears and objections that arise, then ask yourself: whose voice is this really? Often, you'll recognize the concerns of a parent, teacher, or other authority figure who was trying to protect you but whose advice no longer serves your adult life.
Design Your Fulfillment Path Through Strategic Action
Waiting for clarity before taking action is like waiting for all the traffic lights to turn green before starting your journey. Action creates clarity, not the other way around. The most successful people aren't those who planned perfectly—they're those who moved forward despite uncertainty and adjusted course as they learned. Creating a fulfilling life requires both vision and strategy, but most importantly, it requires the courage to start before you feel completely ready. Sarah had always been interested in environmental issues but felt paralyzed by the vastness of the field. Instead of spending months researching the "perfect" environmental career, she volunteered for a local river cleanup project. This single afternoon of action connected her with a network of environmental activists, led to a part-time position with a conservation group, and eventually evolved into her dream job as an environmental educator. Sarah's story illustrates how action creates opportunities that no amount of planning can predict. By getting her hands dirty—literally—she discovered not only what type of environmental work excited her most, but also the specific community and approach that felt right for her. Each small step provided real-world information that was infinitely more valuable than theoretical research. The key is to take what can be called "small astonishing steps"—actions that feel slightly uncomfortable but aren't catastrophic if they don't work out. Make one phone call to someone in a field that interests you. Attend one workshop. Volunteer for one afternoon. These actions also build your confidence and expand your network in ways that sitting at home never could. Treat your first steps as experiments rather than permanent commitments, removing the paralyzing pressure of having to get everything right immediately.
Embrace Your Journey with Courage and Authenticity
The final step is making a commitment and following through, even when—especially when—you don't feel completely ready. Readiness is overrated. Most successful people will tell you they felt unprepared when they made their biggest leaps. The key is distinguishing between reasonable preparation and perfectionist stalling. The journey toward doing what you love isn't about finding one perfect answer that will solve all your problems forever—it's about developing the skills and confidence to keep choosing in favor of what energizes and inspires you. Michael had been talking about starting his own graphic design business for three years. He had the skills, the contacts, and even some potential clients, but he kept finding reasons to delay. He needed a better portfolio, more savings, a clearer business plan. Finally, a friend challenged him to start immediately with whatever he had. Within six months, Michael's part-time design work had grown enough that he could quit his day job. Michael's breakthrough came when he realized that his "preparation" had become a form of procrastination. He had confused motion with progress, staying busy with planning activities that felt productive but weren't moving him toward his goal. The path forward requires both courage and strategy, recognizing that feeling unprepared is normal and temporary, but regret over chances not taken can last a lifetime. Start by setting a specific deadline for taking your first real step—not preparing to take it, but actually taking it. Tell someone about this deadline to create accountability. Then break your big goal into the smallest possible actions and commit to completing one each day. When resistance arises, acknowledge it without letting it stop you. Your dreams aren't luxuries to be pursued only after everything else is perfectly in order—they're essential nutrients for your soul that will give you the energy and motivation to handle all aspects of life more effectively.
Summary
Your dreams aren't frivolous luxuries—they're essential guidance from your deepest self about how you're meant to contribute to the world. As this journey reveals, you can have anything you want, you just can't have everything you want all at once. The knowing comes not from endless analysis but from honest self-examination, small brave actions, and the willingness to move forward despite uncertainty. Your authentic desires have been with you all along, waiting beneath the layers of expectation and fear. Start today by taking one small step toward something that genuinely excites you, even if you can't see the whole staircase. Trust that clarity will come through action, not before it, and that each authentic choice you make will build momentum toward a life that feels truly your own.
By Barbara Sher
