The Earned Life
Lose Regret, Choose Fulfillment
byMarshall Goldsmith, Mark Reiter
Book Edition Details
Summary
Are you living an earned life, free from regret? World-renowned coach Marshall Goldsmith, in The Earned Life (2022), offers a powerful approach to align your choices, risks, and efforts with an overarching purpose, regardless of outcomes. Inspired by Buddhist wisdom, learn to shed obstacles and close the gap between plans and achievements for true fulfillment.
Introduction
Picture a successful executive sitting in his corner office, gazing out at the city skyline. He has achieved everything he once dreamed of—the prestigious title, the impressive salary, the recognition from peers. Yet something feels hollow. Despite all his accomplishments, he finds himself asking a troubling question: "Have I truly earned this life, or have I simply stumbled into it?" This moment of quiet desperation is more common than we might imagine, touching the lives of countless individuals who have climbed the ladder of success only to discover they've been climbing the wrong wall. The question of what it means to live an "earned life" strikes at the heart of human fulfillment. It's not merely about achieving goals or accumulating accolades; it's about the profound satisfaction that comes from knowing your choices, efforts, and sacrifices have aligned with your deepest values and aspirations. This book emerges from decades of coaching the world's most successful leaders, witnessing their struggles with this fundamental question, and discovering the principles that separate those who merely achieve from those who truly thrive. Through intimate stories of transformation and hard-won wisdom from boardrooms and coaching sessions, we'll explore how authentic fulfillment differs from external success, how to make choices that reflect your true self rather than others' expectations, and how to build a life where every breath feels genuinely earned. The journey ahead offers not just insights, but a roadmap to living with purpose, meaning, and the deep satisfaction that comes from knowing you've been true to yourself.
From Recognition to Reality: The CEOs Who Changed Their Lives
The phone call came on a Tuesday morning that would forever alter Mark's understanding of success. As a partner at Goldman Sachs, Mark Tercek had built an impressive career in investment banking, earning respect and substantial compensation. But when a headhunter approached him about leading the Nature Conservancy, something unexpected stirred within him. Here was an opportunity to channel his financial expertise toward environmental protection, to make a difference that extended far beyond quarterly earnings. Yet Mark hesitated, paralyzed by an unexpected fear. During a weekend retreat designed to help Mark think through his decision, the conversation took an unexpected turn. After hours of weighing pros and cons, Mark finally revealed what was really holding him back: "I'm afraid of what my Goldman partners will think." Here was a brilliant executive, financially secure and professionally accomplished, yet trapped by the opinions of his peer group. The realization was both shocking and illuminating. Mark wasn't afraid of failure or financial hardship; he was afraid of disappointing people whose approval had become more important than his own fulfillment. The breakthrough came with a direct challenge: "When are you going to start living your own life?" This simple question cut through layers of rationalization and social conditioning to reveal a fundamental truth. Mark had been living according to someone else's definition of success, allowing his professional identity to overshadow his personal values. The Nature Conservancy represented more than a career change; it was an opportunity to align his professional skills with his deeper purpose of environmental stewardship. When Mark finally made the leap to lead the Nature Conservancy, the transformation was remarkable. He brought his financial acumen to bear on conservation challenges, developing innovative funding mechanisms that protected vast tracts of wilderness. More importantly, he discovered what it felt like to wake up each morning excited about the work ahead, knowing that his efforts were contributing to something larger than himself. The validation he had once sought from Goldman Sachs partners paled in comparison to the satisfaction of meaningful work. This story illustrates a crucial distinction between recognition and genuine fulfillment. True success isn't about impressing others or meeting external expectations; it's about the courage to pursue what matters most to you, even when it means disappointing people whose opinions you value. The most profound changes often begin with the simple question of whether you're living your own life or someone else's version of it.
The Life Plan Review: How Global Leaders Stay Accountable
During the coronavirus pandemic, as the world went into lockdown, something remarkable happened in the coaching community. What could have been a period of isolation and stagnation became instead a laboratory for transformation. A group of fifty accomplished leaders, from Fortune 500 CEOs to world-class athletes, committed to a weekly practice that would change how they thought about personal accountability and growth. The Life Plan Review emerged from the recognition that successful people are excellent planners but often poor executors when it comes to their personal development. Every week, participants would gather virtually to report on six fundamental questions: Did I do my best to set clear goals? Make progress toward those goals? Find meaning? Be happy? Build positive relationships? Stay fully engaged? The key innovation was measuring effort rather than results, acknowledging that while we can't always control outcomes, we can always control how hard we try. What happened next surprised everyone. Week after week, these high-achievers found themselves confronting the gap between their intentions and their actions. A pharmaceutical CEO realized she had been so focused on quarterly targets that she had neglected her own health and relationships. A renowned author discovered that despite preaching work-life balance, he consistently scored poorly on happiness and engagement. The process was both humbling and liberating, forcing participants to confront the difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it. The power of the Life Plan Review lay not just in self-reflection but in community accountability. When you have to report your scores to respected peers each week, excuses and rationalizations quickly fall away. Participants began making changes they had postponed for years, not because they learned new information, but because the weekly rhythm created an unstoppable momentum toward improvement. The shame of repeatedly reporting low scores became a powerful motivator for change. The most profound insight was that measurement transforms intention into reality. What we measure, we manage, and what we manage consistently, we eventually master. The Life Plan Review created a structure for continuous self-improvement that was both rigorous and sustainable, proving that the highest achievers are those who never stop working on themselves.
Beyond Success: Stories of Purpose, Community and Lasting Impact
The story of Curtis Martin's NFL career reveals a profound truth about the relationship between achievement and meaning. When Martin reluctantly entered the NFL draft, he had no burning desire to play professional football. Instead, he saw football as an investment in his future self—a means to fund the life of service he truly wanted to create. This perspective transformed everything about how he approached his career and, ultimately, how he defined success. Throughout his eleven seasons in the NFL, Martin operated on two tracks simultaneously. On the field, he was accumulating rushing yards, touchdowns, and eventually a place in the Hall of Fame. But mentally and spiritually, he was preparing for what came next. Every paycheck, every endorsement deal, every moment in the spotlight was viewed through the lens of his larger purpose: creating opportunities to help others after his playing days ended. When he retired, Martin didn't face the identity crisis that plagues many athletes. He simply transitioned from one phase of service to another. This dual consciousness—living fully in the present while investing in the future—represents a sophisticated understanding of how purpose transforms achievement. Martin's football accomplishments were never ends in themselves but means to a greater end. His Curtis Martin Job Foundation, which supports at-risk youth, single mothers, and disabled individuals, became the true measure of his career's worth. The yards and accolades were temporary; the lives changed through his foundation work were permanent. The concept of community played an equally crucial role in sustaining Martin's sense of purpose. He surrounded himself with people who shared his values and vision, creating a support system that kept him grounded during the dizzying heights of professional sports success. This community wasn't built around fame or fortune but around the shared commitment to making a positive difference. When the cheering crowds disappeared, this network of meaningful relationships remained. Martin's story illuminates the difference between success and significance. Success is about what you accomplish for yourself; significance is about what you accomplish for others. The most fulfilled individuals are those who find ways to transform their talents and opportunities into lasting contributions that extend far beyond their own lives. True legacy isn't measured in personal achievements but in the positive impact that continues long after we're gone.
Summary
The journey toward an earned life begins with a fundamental choice: will you live according to others' expectations or your own deepest values? Through the stories of executives who left prestigious positions to pursue meaningful work, leaders who implemented rigorous accountability systems, and athletes who transformed personal achievement into lasting service, we see that fulfillment comes not from external validation but from the alignment between our actions and our authentic selves. The Life Plan Review offers a practical framework for this transformation, creating weekly rhythms of honest self-assessment that gradually close the gap between intention and reality. The wisdom gathered from these coaching relationships reveals three essential principles for living an earned life. First, true accountability requires both personal honesty and community support; we need others to witness our growth and hold us to our highest standards. Second, the most profound satisfaction comes from connecting our individual talents to purposes larger than ourselves, transforming personal achievement into collective benefit. Finally, the quality of our lives is determined not by what we accomplish but by how much of ourselves we invest in that accomplishment. The path forward is both simple and challenging: measure what matters, surround yourself with people who share your values, and never stop asking whether you're living your own life or someone else's version of it. The goal isn't perfection but continuous growth, not external applause but internal alignment. In the end, an earned life is one where every breath, every choice, and every moment reflects your commitment to becoming the person you were meant to be, while contributing something meaningful to the world around you.
By Marshall Goldsmith
