The Tools
5 Tools to Help You Find Courage, Creativity, and Willpower--and Inspire You to Live Life in Forward Motion
Book Edition Details
Summary
Transform challenges into opportunities for bold, dramatic life changes with The Tools (2012). Therapists Phil Stutz and Barry Michels present five dynamic, results-oriented mental exercises designed to help you get unstuck, control anger, express yourself, combat anxiety, and find discipline, delivering relief and hope right away.
Introduction
Imagine having the power to transform your deepest struggles into your greatest strengths. Every day, we face moments that test our resolve, challenge our confidence, and demand more courage than we think we possess. These aren't just obstacles to overcome; they're invitations to discover hidden forces within ourselves that can revolutionize how we live and who we become. What if the pain you've been avoiding could become the gateway to unprecedented personal power? What if your most persistent problems were actually designed to unlock abilities you never knew existed? The journey ahead reveals four transformative tools that connect you to higher forces, turning your limitations into launching pads for extraordinary living. This isn't about positive thinking or temporary motivation—it's about accessing a permanent source of strength that makes you unstoppable in the face of any challenge.
Master Pain and Move Forward
The Reversal of Desire is a revolutionary approach to handling pain that transforms your relationship with discomfort forever. Instead of avoiding pain, this tool teaches you to move directly toward it, creating unstoppable forward momentum in your life. Vinny, a talented but self-sabotaging comedian, exemplified how fear of pain keeps us trapped in mediocrity. Despite his comedic gifts, he consistently destroyed career opportunities rather than face the vulnerability of rejection. When his manager arranged a crucial meeting with a powerful club owner, Vinny simply didn't show up. He convinced himself he was maintaining artistic integrity, but in reality, he was hiding in what we call the Comfort Zone—a safe but severely limited existence that keeps your life small. The Comfort Zone feels protective, but it's actually a prison that prevents you from accessing your full potential. Vinny's breakthrough came when he learned to use the Reversal of Desire. This tool involves three powerful steps: first, you visualize the pain you're avoiding as a cloud and scream silently "Bring it on!" Second, you move directly into that pain while declaring "I love pain!" Finally, as the cloud spits you out, you affirm "Pain sets me free!" and feel yourself propelled into a realm of pure possibility. The secret lies in understanding that pain shrinks when you move toward it and grows when you run away. By actively desiring the very discomfort you've been avoiding, you harness the Force of Forward Motion—a higher power that drives all life toward growth and expansion. Practice this tool whenever you feel resistance or avoidance, and watch as previously impossible actions become not just manageable, but energizing. Remember that courage isn't the absence of fear—it's the ability to act despite fear. Use the Reversal of Desire as your daily practice for building unshakeable courage, knowing that each time you move through pain, you're developing muscles of resilience that will serve you for life.
Transform Anger Into Active Love
Active Love is the antidote to the destructive cycle of resentment and rage that traps us in what's called the Maze. When someone wrongs us, we often become obsessed with their actions, replaying the incident endlessly and fantasizing about revenge or justice, all while life passes us by. Amanda, an ambitious fashion entrepreneur, discovered this painful truth when her boyfriend's flirtation at a business party triggered an avalanche of hurt and fury. Instead of addressing the situation constructively, she withdrew into an unforgiving state, turning her partner into an enemy and herself into a prisoner of her own angry thoughts. This pattern had destroyed every relationship she'd ever had, leaving her unable to move past even minor conflicts. The Maze represents our childish expectation that life should treat us fairly. When this expectation is violated, we dig in our heels and refuse to move forward until justice is served. But this stance gives others tremendous power over our happiness and progress. Amanda's transformation began when she learned that fairness isn't a requirement for moving forward—love is. Active Love works through three precise steps: First, you concentrate infinite love in your heart, feeling yourself surrounded by warm, liquid light. Second, you transmit all this love directly to the person who has wronged you, holding nothing back. Third, you feel this love penetrate their being completely, creating a moment of total oneness before returning to you multiplied. This isn't about condoning bad behavior or becoming passive. It's about freeing yourself from the prison of resentment so you can respond from strength rather than reactivity. When you're filled with Active Love, you're connected to Outflow—the cosmic force of unlimited giving that makes you unshakeable in any situation. Practice Active Love immediately when someone triggers your anger, when you're reliving past hurts, or when preparing to deal with difficult people. The goal isn't to change them; it's to liberate yourself from their power over your inner state and future.
Find Your Inner Authority and Authentic Voice
Inner Authority liberates you from the paralyzing need for others' approval by connecting you with your Shadow—the rejected parts of yourself that actually contain tremendous power for authentic self-expression. Jennifer, a former model turned guidance counselor, lived in constant fear that others would discover she wasn't good enough for their circles. At her son's elite soccer practices, she'd sit alone, convinced the other parents saw her as inferior. Her attempts to connect always resulted in freezing—dry mouth, shaky voice, and complete inability to express herself naturally. This wasn't just social anxiety; it was a fundamental disconnection from her authentic self. The Shadow represents everything we don't want to be but fear we are, typically appearing as a figure that embodies our deepest insecurities. Jennifer's Shadow appeared as an overweight, unwashed teenager with acne—the small-town girl she'd spent years trying to escape. But here's the revolutionary insight: the Shadow isn't your enemy; it's the gateway to your most powerful self-expression. When Jennifer learned to embrace rather than hide her Shadow, everything changed. The other parents, who had actually seen her as intimidatingly perfect and unapproachable, suddenly found her warm and relatable. Her perceived confidence had been making them insecure, while her attempts to hide her insecurity had been making her seem cold and superior. Inner Authority works by creating an unbreakable bond with your Shadow. Standing before any audience, you visualize your Shadow beside you, feel the fearless unity between you, then together command the audience to "Listen!" This connection unleashes the Force of Self-Expression, allowing you to speak with unusual clarity and power. The key is understanding that true authority comes from within, not from others' approval. Your Shadow carries the common humanity that connects you to everyone else, making authentic communication possible. Practice this tool before any performance situation, from job interviews to difficult conversations, and discover the freedom that comes from no longer needing external validation. Use Inner Authority as your pathway to becoming fully yourself, knowing that your most powerful self emerges only when you stop hiding the parts of yourself you've been taught to reject.
Build Unshakeable Willpower and Faith
The Grateful Flow is your connection to the Source—the all-giving force that created and sustains you—and your most powerful weapon against the Black Cloud of negative thinking that destroys peace of mind and creative potential. Elizabeth lived in a constant state of worry and catastrophic thinking. Whether obsessing about Thanksgiving dinner disasters or convinced that every headache signaled a brain tumor, she existed under what we call the Black Cloud—a self-created atmosphere of doom that screens out everything positive in life. This wasn't just pessimism; it was a protective superstition based on the false belief that worry could somehow prevent bad things from happening. The Black Cloud gains power through repetition, creating an addictive cycle where negative thinking feels necessary for survival. Elizabeth's husband and daughter felt helpless watching her turn every ordinary challenge into a life-or-death crisis. Her worry wasn't protecting anyone; it was robbing her family of joy and connection while exhausting her own spirit. Elizabeth's breakthrough came when she learned that the universe isn't indifferent to our wellbeing but is actually an endless source of support and provision. The Grateful Flow connects you to this reality by awakening gratefulness as an organ of spiritual perception, not just an emotion. You begin by silently naming specific things you're grateful for, feeling slight strain as you search for items often taken for granted. As this gratefulness flows upward from your heart, you feel your chest soften and open, approaching an overwhelming presence of infinite giving. This is the Source—the creative force that provides everything from your ability to see and breathe to the countless opportunities that fill your future. When you're connected to the Source, negativity loses its grip because you feel genuinely supported by something greater than yourself. Practice the Grateful Flow immediately when negative thoughts arise, during undirected moments throughout your day, and as part of your regular spiritual hygiene routine. The goal isn't blind optimism but realistic appreciation for the countless gifts that sustain your existence every moment. Remember that peace of mind isn't a resting state but an active practice of staying connected to the source of all provision. Each time you use this tool, you're choosing faith over fear and abundance over scarcity.
Summary
The path to extraordinary living isn't found in avoiding our problems but in using them as doorways to discover higher forces within ourselves. Each challenge you face is perfectly designed to develop capabilities you didn't know you possessed, transforming limitation into liberation and struggle into strength. As the authors discovered, "The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." Your willingness to engage with these tools doesn't just change your own life; it contributes to healing the spirit of society itself, making you a pioneer in humanity's next evolutionary leap. Begin today by choosing one tool that addresses your most pressing challenge, then commit to using it every time the relevant situation arises. Your future self—and everyone whose life you touch—depends on your courage to move beyond consuming information and into the realm of transformative action.
By Barry Michels
