The Practice of Groundedness
A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds – Not Crushes – Your Soul
Book Edition Details
Summary
"The Practice of Groundedness (2021) provides some counterbalance to all those self-help books that extol us to never stop optimizing ourselves, becoming more productive, and pushing ourselves toward more success. Drawing from both ancient wisdom and modern science, it identifies six principles of a more grounded way of living. It also tells the personal story of how the author came to understand these principles while struggling to overcome mental health issues."
Introduction
In our relentless pursuit of achievement, we've become trapped in what feels like a never-ending race toward more—more productivity, more optimization, more external validation. Yet despite checking all the boxes of conventional success, many of us find ourselves feeling scattered, anxious, and perpetually unsatisfied. The very strategies we've been told will lead to fulfillment are leaving us feeling hollow and disconnected from what truly matters. There's a growing recognition that our approach to success needs a fundamental shift—one that prioritizes internal strength and stability over external performance metrics. This transformation begins with understanding that lasting success isn't about reaching higher peaks, but about cultivating deeper roots. When we ground ourselves in principles that nourish our whole being, we discover a more sustainable and meaningful path forward.
Accept Your Reality to Unlock Your Potential
Acceptance isn't resignation or giving up—it's the courageous act of seeing your situation clearly, without the distorting lens of wishful thinking or denial. True acceptance means starting exactly where you are, not where you think you should be, and recognizing this as the only authentic launching point for meaningful change. Consider Sarah True, the Olympic triathlete who experienced devastating disappointment at the 2016 Rio Olympics when her body failed her during the race. After years of preparation and carrying the weight of her husband's Olympic dreams alongside her own, she was forced to drop out. Rather than immediately bouncing back as she'd always done before, Sarah spiraled into a deep depression that lasted months. She found herself having intrusive thoughts about ending her life during training rides, unable to escape the crushing sense of failure. The turning point came when Sarah finally stopped trying to push through the pain and instead accepted the full reality of her mental health crisis. She began intensive therapy, acknowledged her long-standing struggle with depression, and stopped pretending everything was fine. This acceptance didn't make her weak—it gave her the foundation to build genuine healing. She learned to sit with difficult emotions without immediately trying to fix or escape them. To practice acceptance in your own life, start by identifying areas where you're fighting against reality. When you catch yourself desperately wanting something to be different, pause and ask what advice you'd give a close friend in the same situation. Create space between yourself and your circumstances by adopting the perspective of a wise observer—stepping back to view your situation with compassion rather than getting caught up in it emotionally. Remember that acceptance is an ongoing practice, not a one-time decision. Be patient with yourself as you learn to stop shoulding all over yourself and instead embrace the mantra: "This is what is happening right now, and I'm doing the best I can." From this grounded place of self-compassion, you'll find the clarity and strength to take wise action toward the changes you truly desire.
Cultivate Presence and Patient Progress
Presence is the art of owning your attention and energy, choosing consciously where to direct these precious resources rather than allowing them to be hijacked by endless distractions. In our hyperconnected world, the ability to be fully here—mentally, emotionally, and physically—has become both more challenging and more essential than ever. Mike Posner exemplifies this transformation from scattered achievement to grounded presence. After reaching the heights of pop stardom with hits like "Cooler Than Me" and "I Took a Pill in Ibiza," he found himself feeling empty despite his success. The money, fame, and constant stimulation weren't providing the fulfillment he'd expected. Following the death of his father and best friend Avicii, Mike made a radical decision: he would walk across America, from New Jersey to California, covering 2,851 miles on foot. This wasn't just a physical journey but a practice in presence. Walking for months, Mike learned to be fully engaged with each step, each breath, each moment of the trek. He discovered that happiness wasn't a destination to arrive at but a daily choice about where to direct his attention. The walk taught him that life is happening now, not in some future achievement or past memory. When he was bitten by a rattlesnake and nearly died, he returned to the exact spot where it happened and continued walking—a powerful metaphor for accepting what is while moving forward with intention. To cultivate presence, begin by identifying your personal attention vampires—those digital devices, notifications, and habits that constantly pull you away from meaningful engagement. Create sacred spaces and times where you deliberately disconnect from these distractions. Even brief periods of single-tasking, like taking a five-minute walk without your phone, can help retrain your brain to tolerate and eventually crave deeper focus. Develop a simple mindfulness practice, even just three to five minutes daily of focused breathing. The goal isn't to achieve some blissful state but to strengthen your ability to notice when your mind wanders and gently guide it back to what matters most. Remember, the quality of your presence determines the quality of your life—and every moment you spend fully engaged is a moment you truly live.
Embrace Vulnerability and Deep Community
Vulnerability isn't weakness—it's the foundation of authentic strength and meaningful connection. When we constantly maintain a perfect facade, we not only exhaust ourselves but also prevent others from truly knowing and supporting us. The courage to show up authentically, including our struggles and imperfections, creates the very connections our souls crave. Kevin Love's panic attack during a Cleveland Cavaliers game illustrates this beautifully. The six-foot-eight power forward suddenly found himself gasping for air on the bench, thinking he was dying. After medical tests revealed nothing wrong physically, he learned he'd experienced a massive panic attack. Rather than hiding this "weakness," Kevin made the brave choice to write openly about his mental health struggles in The Players' Tribune, sharing how therapy helped him process his grandmother's death and other buried emotions. Kevin's vulnerability didn't diminish his strength—it amplified it. His honest account sparked a mental health movement within the NBA, inspiring other players like DeMar DeRozan to share their own struggles with depression and anxiety. The league began running nationally televised mental health awareness campaigns and mandated that every NBA organization have mental health professionals on staff. Kevin's willingness to show his complete self created ripple effects of healing and connection far beyond what he could have imagined. The path to authentic vulnerability begins with developing emotional flexibility—learning to experience a wider range of emotions without losing your center. When someone asks how you're doing, resist the automatic "fine" response if it's not true. Practice sharing one genuine feeling or challenge, starting with trusted friends or family members. Notice how this honesty often deepens rather than weakens your relationships. Build your support network by seeking out others who value authenticity over perfection. Whether through joining a book club, volunteering, or participating in a faith community, surround yourself with people who appreciate your real self rather than a polished performance. Remember that everyone is going through something, and your openness gives others permission to drop their masks too, creating the deep community we all need to thrive.
Summary
The practice of groundedness offers a revolutionary alternative to the frantic pursuit of external achievement that leaves so many feeling hollow and exhausted. As this transformative approach reveals, "When you are grounded there is no need to look up or down. You are where you are, and you hold true strength and power from that position." The journey from heroic individualism to sustainable success requires cultivating acceptance of your current reality, presence in each moment, patience with the process, vulnerability in your connections, and intentional movement that honors your mind-body system. These practices work together like the interconnected root system of mighty redwood trees, creating an unshakable foundation from which authentic success naturally emerges. Begin today by choosing one principle that resonates most deeply with you and commit to practicing it consistently for the next week—your future self will thank you for taking this first courageous step toward a more grounded and fulfilling life.
By Brad Stulberg
