Welcome Home
A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul
Book Edition Details
Summary
"Welcome Home (2021) uses the metaphor of a house to provide a personalized blueprint for achieving self-worth, belonging, and happiness. Through personal stories, practical advice, and poetry, it lays out tools you can use to build a place where you’re at peace with yourself."
Introduction
Have you ever felt like a stranger in your own life, constantly searching for a place where you truly belong? Many of us spend years building homes in other people, decorating them with our love, care, and respect, hoping to find the safety and acceptance we crave. We invest so deeply in others that we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. Yet when those people walk away, those homes disappear with them, leaving us feeling empty and homeless once again. The profound truth is that your home belongs nowhere outside of you. Your home is within you. You are the architect, the builder, and the occupant of your own sacred space. This journey will guide you through constructing a foundation of self-acceptance and self-awareness, building rooms filled with self-love, forgiveness, and clarity, and ultimately discovering that the feeling of home you've been seeking has been waiting inside you all along.
Building Your Foundation Within
The foundation of your inner home consists of two essential elements: self-acceptance and self-awareness. Just as a house needs a solid foundation to weather storms and remain standing, your sense of belonging must be anchored in knowing and embracing who you truly are. Without this foundation, you might possess all the knowledge about self-worth and love, but lack the stable base to integrate these elements into your daily life. Consider the story of Najwa, who despite understanding concepts of self-love intellectually, found herself repeatedly drawn to emotionally unavailable people. When Noah told her their communication had become "too intense" after just texting, she immediately apologized and offered to change her behavior. She realized later that she was still operating from her childhood belief that she couldn't have the love and belonging she desired. Her foundation was built on others' acceptance rather than her own. The transformation began when Najwa stopped asking "Why can't I have that?" and started asking "Why don't I have that?" This simple shift moved her from a place of powerlessness to possibility. She began examining the labels she'd used to define herself and practiced sitting in silence to distinguish between the voices of others and her authentic inner voice. To build your foundation, start by taking inventory of your current life and asking yourself: "If I had complete choice, is this what I would choose?" Place check marks next to the aspects that align with your authentic self and X marks next to those that don't. Then spend five minutes daily in silence, listening to your inner voice and affirming that your authentic self is worthy of your own acceptance. Remember that building a strong foundation takes time, just like constructing a house. Be patient with yourself as you learn to separate your authentic voice from the expectations others have placed upon you. The investment you make in this foundation will support every other aspect of your inner home.
Mastering Self-Love and Emotional Boundaries
True self-love extends far beyond occasional spa days or shopping trips. It's a daily practice of treating yourself with the same compassion, attention, and care you would give to someone you deeply love. Self-love means answering your own call for love instead of constantly seeking validation from external sources. Najwa discovered her pattern of being attracted to others' pain when she reflected on her connection with Noah. She realized she wasn't actually attracted to Noah himself, but to his sorrow because it felt familiar to her own. As an empath, she had learned to extend herself in all directions seeking love, like a tree extending its roots toward any source of water. She would accept scraps of attention mixed with toxicity rather than demand the whole, healthy love she deserved. The breakthrough came when Najwa learned to create a protective bubble around her empathy. Instead of automatically absorbing others' emotions, she began asking herself: "Is this emotion mine to carry? Am I being asked to carry this emotion? Do I want to and have the energy to carry it?" This boundary allowed her to choose her emotional investments consciously rather than bleeding energy involuntarily. Practice self-love by setting a daily intention each morning: "Today I am going to see proof that I am worthy of love." Throughout the day, notice people who smile at you, show kindness, or demonstrate care. Train your brain to look for evidence of your worthiness rather than proof of your inadequacy. Create your own "self-love contract" by writing down your commitment to being the source of your own love, to meeting your own needs, and to never shrinking yourself to fit into others' homes. Sign it and return to it whenever you feel yourself slipping into old patterns of seeking external validation.
Finding Clarity Through Authentic Living
Clarity emerges when you remove the layers that obscure your authentic self. These layers often consist of who you think you should be versus who you actually are, creating a blurred vision that prevents you from seeing yourself clearly. Living authentically requires the courage to unveil yourself, even when it challenges long-held beliefs and expectations. Najwa's journey to clarity began with a powerful visualization exercise. Sitting in her silent apartment one evening, she imagined what a biography written about her a hundred years from now would say. Surprisingly, the picture accompanying the biography showed her without the hijab she'd worn for years. This moment of revelation showed her that she wasn't projecting an authentic image of how she actually saw herself. The process of taking off her hijab wasn't simply about removing a piece of fabric. It represented her deeper journey of unlinking her worth as a woman from physical modesty, from covering, from hiding. It was about surrendering to her choice, her voice, and her authentic self. Though she felt naked and exposed initially, she learned to separate the shame she'd been taught to feel from the joy and relief of living authentically. When confusion clouds your vision, use it as a pathway to clarity rather than a roadblock. Ask yourself: "What is this confusion trying to tell me about my authentic desires versus my learned expectations?" Write down the story you're telling yourself on one side of a paper, then write the objective reality on the other side. Trust your instincts when something doesn't feel right, even if you can't logically explain why. Your body often knows what your mind hasn't yet processed. Most importantly, stop trying to change past endings and focus on writing new chapters that authentically represent who you're becoming.
Creating Your Dream While Staying True
Living your dream isn't about following a predetermined path, but about flowing like a river toward your authentic expression. Your dream should nourish your inner home rather than requiring you to sacrifice other essential aspects of your life. The key is taking the next step you can take rather than waiting until you have the entire journey mapped out. Najwa's dream evolved organically from her desire to help her students heal. What began as writing short motivational pieces for eight refugee students eventually led to self-publishing books, delivering talks to thousands, and creating a global platform for healing. She didn't set out to become a writer or speaker, but she followed what felt like home to her, what felt like breathing. The transformation required unblinding herself to possibilities she'd never considered. While she'd planned to be a classroom teacher like her parents, she realized her true calling was teaching in the larger classroom of the world. Each opportunity that arose seemed like a distraction from her original plan, but she chose to see them as teaching opportunities on a broader scale. Begin by identifying what interests you right now and what small step you can take today. Don't worry about whether it fits into a grand plan or whether others will validate your choices. Ask yourself: "What change do I want to make in the world?" and "What feels like home when I'm doing it?" Focus on originality rather than copying others' paths to success. Your dream should be internally motivated and self-fulfilling, not a race with someone else or an attempt to achieve others' definitions of success. Remember that living one dream doesn't negate previous experiences, all your skills and knowledge can transfer to support your authentic calling.
Summary
The journey home to yourself requires recognizing that you've been searching in all the wrong places. Your home doesn't exist in someone else's acceptance, validation, or love. As this profound truth reveals itself: "You are the land your home is built on. You are your own home. Home is you." The search for external belonging ends when you realize that wherever you go and whoever you're with, you carry your home within you. You no longer extend your roots desperately toward any source of acceptance because your foundation is unshakeable, built on self-awareness and self-acceptance. Start today by spending five minutes in silence, listening to your authentic voice, and asking yourself: "What would my life look like if I lived it as I truly wanted to, not as I was convinced I needed to?" Then take one small step toward that vision, knowing that you already possess everything you need to build the home your soul has been seeking.
By Najwa Zebian
