Stop Checking Your Likes cover

Stop Checking Your Likes

Shake Off the Need for Approval and Live an Incredible Life

bySusie Moore

★★★★
4.10avg rating — 625 ratings

Book Edition Details

ISBN:9781608686735
Publisher:New World Library
Publication Date:2020
Reading Time:10 minutes
Language:English
ASIN:N/A

Summary

In a world that thrives on digital affirmations, Susie Moore’s "Stop Checking Your Likes" dares you to rewrite the script of your life. Are you addicted to those fleeting digital hearts and thumbs-up? This book is your antidote, offering a liberating escape from the relentless chase for online approval. Moore reveals the hidden power of embracing your own worth, independent of social media’s fickle applause. Discover how to transform perceived failures into stepping stones for personal growth and fulfillment. With refreshing candor, she dismantles the myth of perfection and inspires you to celebrate your authentic self. Instead of asking what’s wrong, learn to identify what’s missing and uncover a life of unshakeable confidence and joy. Let go of the digital façade and step boldly into your true purpose—because your greatest ‘like’ should come from within.

Introduction

Susie Moore's story begins with a jarring reality check delivered by a Scottish mentor over a casual phone call. Having just received a cruel online comment about her appearance, Moore was spiraling into anger and self-doubt when her friend's simple two-word response changed everything: "So what?" This moment of clarity became the foundation for a revolutionary approach to living free from the exhausting cycle of seeking external validation. Moore, who transformed from a shelter kid to a successful entrepreneur and life coach, offers a refreshingly honest roadmap for anyone trapped in the modern approval economy. Her journey reveals three essential truths: that our childhood experiences shape but need not define our self-worth, that the courage to pursue our authentic desires requires breaking free from others' expectations, and that true confidence comes from developing an unshakeable relationship with ourselves rather than constantly monitoring how others perceive us.

From Shelters to Self-Discovery: Overcoming Childhood Trauma

Growing up in women's shelters across England with an alcoholic, drug-addicted father and a depressed mother taught Moore harsh lessons about survival and self-reliance from an early age. Her childhood was punctuated by violence, instability, and the constant struggle of poverty, moving through more than twenty schools as her family sought safety and stability. Yet these experiences, rather than crushing her spirit, became the unlikely foundation for her future strength and wisdom. One pivotal moment came when Moore was just six months old and her father threatened to burn her with a lighter over ten pounds needed for alcohol. This incident marked her mother's first "walk-out moment," demonstrating that even in the darkest circumstances, there comes a point when enough is enough. Moore learned early that people make choices, even when those choices seem impossible from the outside. The constant exposure to other women's stories in the shelters revealed patterns of human behavior that would later inform her coaching philosophy. She witnessed how some women repeatedly returned to abusive situations, choosing familiar pain over uncertain freedom. These observations taught her that self-destruction is a choice, but so is self-preservation and growth. At fifteen, Moore discovered a life-changing book that introduced her to the concept of personal choice and individual power. This discovery marked the beginning of her conscious journey toward self-improvement and the realization that her circumstances, no matter how challenging, did not have to determine her destiny. The shelter experiences, rather than being sources of shame, became evidence of her resilience and proof that she could survive anything life threw at her.

Building Confidence Through Career Challenges and Setbacks

Moore's professional journey exemplifies how confidence is built through action, not through waiting for the perfect moment or credentials. Moving to New York City at twenty-five with no college degree, no local connections, and limited funds, she faced months of job rejection before landing her first position. Her approach was simple but effective: focus on her natural strengths of connecting with people and being persuasive, rather than dwelling on what she lacked. Her breakthrough came in an unexpected form when she was asked to work in Washington D.C. during the 2012 presidential election, despite knowing virtually nothing about American politics. Starting from complete ignorance, she immersed herself in political media and hit the ground running. Her boss hoped she might generate $500,000 in advertising revenue, but Moore delivered nearly $3 million. This success came not from expertise but from her willingness to learn quickly and her immunity to rejection. The key insight from Moore's career trajectory is that competence matters less than confidence, and confidence comes from taking action despite fear. She learned to reframe every "no" as simply getting closer to a "yes," treating rejection as a numbers game rather than a personal judgment. This mindset allowed her to make countless calls and send numerous emails without taking silence or dismissal personally. Moore's eventual transition from corporate sales to entrepreneurship followed the same pattern. She started writing and coaching without formal qualifications, focusing on what she could offer rather than what credentials she lacked. Her first article submission led to regular writing opportunities, which built her platform and client base. The lesson she consistently demonstrates is that the marketplace rewards those who show up and persist, not those who wait until they feel perfectly qualified.

Embracing Authenticity: Breaking Free from External Validation

The modern obsession with likes, shares, and external approval has created what Moore calls an "approval trap" that keeps people from pursuing their authentic desires. She argues that seeking others' validation is not just exhausting but fundamentally impossible, since everyone sees the world through their own filters and biases. What one person criticizes, another might celebrate, making the pursuit of universal approval a fool's errand. Moore's approach to handling criticism is both practical and liberating. When she received harsh online comments about her appearance, she chose to see them as reflections of the commenters' inner state rather than objective truths about herself. She developed a policy of never defending herself against attacks, understanding that defensiveness only gives critics more power and energy to continue their assault. The transformation from approval-seeking to self-approval requires recognizing that most of our fears fall into two basic categories: "I am not enough" or "I do not have enough." These primitive fears served our ancestors when survival depended on tribal acceptance and resource scarcity, but in modern life, they often prevent us from taking the very risks that could lead to growth and fulfillment. Moore emphasizes that authenticity doesn't mean being selfish or ignoring others' needs. Instead, it means making decisions based on internal wisdom rather than external pressure. This shift allows for more genuine relationships, better decision-making, and a sense of freedom that attracts opportunities and like-minded people. The paradox of self-approval is that when you stop desperately seeking others' validation, you often receive more genuine appreciation and respect.

Teaching Self-Approval: From Personal Growth to Helping Others

Moore's evolution from someone who survived chaos to someone who helps others thrive represents the natural progression of authentic self-development. Her coaching philosophy centers on helping people recognize their inherent worth and power, regardless of their circumstances or background. She teaches that every person already possesses the wisdom and strength needed to create positive change in their lives. Her methods are refreshingly practical and action-oriented. Rather than endless analysis of problems, she focuses on identifying what's missing and taking concrete steps to address gaps. She encourages clients to ask better questions like "What's missing?" instead of "What's wrong with me?" This reframe shifts people from victim mentality to creative problem-solving mode. Moore's approach to helping others overcome limiting beliefs involves a combination of tough love and compassionate support. She challenges people to take responsibility for their choices while providing tools and strategies to make different decisions going forward. Her own story serves as proof that dramatic transformation is possible regardless of starting circumstances. The ripple effect of Moore's work extends beyond individual clients to a broader cultural conversation about self-worth and authenticity. Through her writing, speaking, and media appearances, she advocates for a society where people feel empowered to pursue their genuine interests and express their true selves without constantly seeking permission or approval from others. Her message is both revolutionary and simple: you are enough, exactly as you are, right now.

Summary

Susie Moore's journey from shelter kid to successful entrepreneur and life coach proves that our circumstances need not define our destiny, but our response to those circumstances always will. Her central message is both radical and practical: the approval you seek from others already exists within you, and accessing it requires nothing more than the decision to stop outsourcing your self-worth to people who don't know your heart, your history, or your potential. Moore's approach offers two transformative shifts for anyone trapped in the exhausting cycle of external validation: first, recognize that other people's opinions are reflections of their own inner world rather than objective truths about you, and second, understand that taking action despite fear, rather than waiting for confidence to arrive, is the fastest path to building genuine self-assurance. Her story and methods are particularly valuable for anyone who feels stuck between who they are and who they think they should be, offering both permission and practical tools to bridge that gap with courage, humor, and unwavering self-compassion.

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Book Cover
Stop Checking Your Likes

By Susie Moore

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