Wanting
The Power of Mimetic Desire in Everyday Life
Book Edition Details
Summary
Why do you long for what you desire? The pull of your heartstrings may not be as original as you think. In "Wanting," Luke Burgis uncovers the enigmatic force of mimetic desire, a concept birthed by the brilliant René Girard, that reveals how our cravings mirror those of others. This isn't just about yearning for the latest gadgets or fashion trends; it's a profound exploration of how our shared desires shape our identities, fuel societal rifts, and even guide historic decisions like investing in Facebook. Burgis invites you to shift from blind imitation to mindful aspiration, offering a toolkit for reclaiming your desires. Here, the allure of conformity is dissected, showing that the path to fulfillment is not about erasing desires but redefining them with intention.
Introduction
The conventional understanding of human desire rests on a fundamental misconception—that our wants emerge from within ourselves through rational deliberation or innate preferences. This seemingly obvious assumption crumbles under careful examination, revealing instead that desire operates as a profoundly social phenomenon, transmitted through networks of imitation that remain largely invisible to those caught within them. The implications extend far beyond academic theory into the practical realm of daily decision-making, relationship dynamics, and social organization. The investigation employs a multidisciplinary approach, drawing from anthropology, psychology, and philosophy to construct a comprehensive framework for understanding how desires spread, intensify, and transform through human communities. Rather than dismissing social influence as mere peer pressure or marketing manipulation, the analysis reveals mimetic desire as a fundamental aspect of human nature that shapes everything from individual identity formation to large-scale cultural movements and conflicts. The exploration ahead challenges readers to examine their own motivations with unprecedented honesty, questioning whether their deepest aspirations truly originate from authentic self-knowledge or represent sophisticated forms of unconscious imitation. This process of recognition opens pathways toward more intentional living, offering tools for distinguishing between borrowed and genuine desires while navigating an increasingly connected world where mimetic influences operate at unprecedented scale and speed.
The Mimetic Foundation: Why Desire Is Learned Through Models
Human beings possess an extraordinary capacity for imitation that distinguishes them from all other species. Neuroscientific research reveals that infants can mirror facial expressions within hours of birth, suggesting that the ability to copy others represents not learned behavior but a core aspect of human architecture. This imitative capacity extends far beyond simple behavioral mimicry to encompass the very structure of wanting itself, creating what can be understood as the triangular nature of desire. The process operates through models—individuals whose desires we unconsciously adopt as our own. These models function as mediators, showing us not merely what objects exist in the world, but which objects deserve our attention and longing. A child observes a parent reaching for a particular book and immediately develops interest in that same volume, not because of any inherent qualities the book possesses, but because the parent's desire has transformed its significance. This dynamic continues throughout life, though it becomes increasingly sophisticated and difficult to detect. The power of mimetic models explains phenomena that rational choice theory struggles to address. Why do certain products, experiences, or lifestyles suddenly become irresistible to entire populations? Why do trends spread with viral intensity while others fail to gain traction? The answer lies in the presence of compelling models whose desires create cascading effects throughout social networks. Each new adopter becomes a model for others, generating momentum that appears to emerge spontaneously but actually follows predictable patterns of mimetic transmission. Recognition of this mechanism challenges fundamental assumptions about individual autonomy and authentic choice. If our deepest wants are shaped by models we may not even consciously recognize, then the project of self-knowledge requires examining not just what we desire, but whose desires we have unconsciously inherited. This awareness becomes the foundation for more intentional decision-making and genuine personal development.
From Imitation to Rivalry: How Mimetic Dynamics Turn Destructive
The social distance between individuals and their models of desire creates fundamentally different outcomes with vastly different consequences for human relationships and social stability. When models exist at great temporal, cultural, or social distance, they inspire without threatening, expanding possibilities and aspirations without generating anxiety or competition. Historical figures, fictional characters, or individuals from entirely different spheres can serve as powerful sources of motivation precisely because direct rivalry remains impossible. The dynamics transform dramatically when models operate within the same social sphere as their imitators. Internal mediation occurs when the model and imitator share similar circumstances, making direct comparison and competition not only possible but inevitable. Friends, colleagues, neighbors, and social media connections often function as internal mediators, creating complex webs of rivalry that can poison relationships and distort judgment. The same person who once served as inspiration becomes a source of anxiety and resentment. This progression from admiration to rivalry follows predictable patterns. Initial appreciation gradually shifts to competition as the imitator seeks to possess what the model has. The model, sensing this challenge, begins to guard their position more jealously. Both parties become locked in cycles of mutual imitation, each responding to the other's moves with increasing intensity. The original object of desire often becomes secondary to the rivalry itself, which takes on a life of its own. When mimetic rivalries spread throughout communities, they create states of social crisis where traditional differences collapse and conflicts multiply. Paradoxically, as individuals become more similar in their desires and behaviors, the intensity of conflict increases rather than decreases. This dynamic explains why the most bitter disputes often occur between groups or individuals who share the most in common, revealing a fundamental truth about human social dynamics that challenges conventional wisdom about the sources of discord.
Transcending Mimesis: Strategies for Authentic Desire and Leadership
Escaping destructive mimetic patterns requires developing anti-mimetic capabilities—the ability to recognize and counteract automatic imitation while remaining open to genuine learning and growth. This process begins with acknowledging that complete independence from mimetic influence is neither possible nor desirable, since all human development depends on models and social learning. The goal is not elimination of mimetic desire but its conscious direction toward constructive rather than destructive ends. The cultivation of thick desires represents a crucial element in this transformation. Unlike thin desires that emerge from immediate social pressures and prove shallow upon examination, thick desires develop through sustained engagement with activities, relationships, or pursuits that consistently provide meaning and satisfaction. These desires possess depth and resilience, remaining stable across changing circumstances and social pressures. They often emerge from careful reflection on moments of genuine fulfillment, revealing patterns of motivation that transcend specific contexts. Leadership operates primarily through the conscious modeling of desire rather than the mere exercise of authority or expertise. Leaders inevitably influence what others want through their own expressed priorities, values, and aspirations, whether they recognize this responsibility or not. The question becomes how to model desires that serve human flourishing rather than exploitation or manipulation. This requires leaders who have examined their own mimetic influences and developed the capacity to point toward transcendent purposes that can accommodate multiple participants without generating rivalry. The development of empathy serves as a powerful anti-mimetic force, enabling individuals to understand and appreciate the experiences of others without automatically adopting their desires or entering into competition with them. Empathetic engagement allows for connection and mutual understanding while preserving individual agency and authentic choice. This capacity becomes especially important in environments characterized by high mimetic pressure, where the ability to maintain perspective can prevent destructive cycles from taking hold.
The Anti-Mimetic Path: Building Communities Beyond Competitive Wanting
The recognition of mimetic patterns creates opportunities for conscious intervention at both individual and collective levels. Rather than remaining trapped in cycles of imitation and rivalry, communities can develop practices and structures that acknowledge mimetic influences while creating space for more authentic and constructive forms of social organization. This transformation requires both personal self-awareness and collective commitment to different ways of relating and organizing human activity. Anti-mimetic communities prioritize the speed and accuracy of truth transmission as a fundamental health metric. When accurate information moves quickly and freely through social networks, groups can adapt effectively to changing circumstances and avoid the distortions that fuel mimetic crises. When truth is slowed, filtered, or distorted by desires to please superiors, avoid conflict, or maintain status, organizations become vulnerable to both internal dysfunction and external threats. The practice of sharing stories of deeply fulfilling action provides a pathway toward understanding authentic desire patterns. When individuals describe experiences of meaningful achievement that transcend competitive success, common themes emerge that reveal enduring sources of human motivation and satisfaction. These patterns point toward forms of desire that expand rather than contract possibilities, that generate abundance rather than scarcity, and that strengthen rather than weaken social bonds. Transcendent leadership shifts focus away from personal advancement toward shared purposes that can accommodate multiple participants without generating rivalry. This approach requires discernment—the ability to distinguish between desires worth cultivating and those that lead toward conflict and dysfunction. Such leadership creates conditions where individuals can discover and pursue authentic aspirations while contributing to collective flourishing rather than competing for limited status and resources. The ultimate goal is not the elimination of social influence but its conscious direction toward human development and genuine community.
Summary
The hidden operation of mimetic desire emerges as one of the most powerful yet unrecognized forces shaping human behavior, relationships, and social structures across all scales of human organization. Understanding how desires spread through imitation rather than emerging from isolated individual calculation provides insight into phenomena ranging from market dynamics to political polarization, from personal relationships to cultural movements and conflicts. This recognition challenges fundamental assumptions about human autonomy and rational choice while opening pathways toward more conscious and constructive forms of social engagement, offering practical tools for distinguishing between borrowed and authentic desires, recognizing and interrupting destructive cycles of rivalry, and cultivating approaches to leadership and community that serve human flourishing rather than exploitation or manipulation in an age of unprecedented connectivity and social influence.
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By Luke Burgis
