Triggers
Creating Behavior That Lasts – Becoming the Person You Want to Be
byMarshall Goldsmith, Mark Reiter
Book Edition Details
Summary
When the chaos of daily life triggers you into reactions you wish you could take back, Marshall Goldsmith offers a lifeline. In "Triggers," this celebrated executive coach reveals the invisible mechanisms of our emotional responses that sabotage our best intentions. Ever wondered why a colleague’s offhand remark sends your defenses sky-high, or why a reckless driver ignites your fury? Goldsmith uncovers the subtle cues that push our buttons, and more importantly, how to rewire these responses. Through illuminating stories and practical insights, he introduces the transformative power of structured questioning—guiding you to ask, “Am I truly making progress?” This book doesn’t just promise change; it equips you with the tools to make it last. Dive into Goldsmith’s world of wisdom and step towards a future where your reactions are no longer your master but your choice.
Introduction
Picture this: you wake up tomorrow morning with a crystal-clear vision of who you want to become. You can see yourself being more patient with your family, more confident in your career, more present in your relationships. You feel energized and ready to make it happen. But then life intervenes. The commute frustrates you, a colleague's comment triggers your defensive response, and by evening you're back to your old patterns, wondering why change feels so impossibly difficult. This universal struggle isn't a character flaw or lack of willpower. It's the predictable result of not understanding how our environment constantly shapes our behavior in ways we rarely notice. Every moment of our day, we're surrounded by triggers that can either pull us toward the person we want to be or drag us back to who we've always been. The difference between those who successfully transform themselves and those who remain stuck isn't talent or luck. It's learning to recognize these triggers and develop simple, practical structures that make positive change not just possible, but inevitable.
Understanding Your Environmental Triggers
Environmental triggers are the invisible forces that shape our behavior every single moment of every day. Think of them as the constant whispers in our ear that influence whether we respond with patience or anger, kindness or irritation, focus or distraction. Most of us walk through life completely unaware that we're being triggered hundreds of times daily, mistakenly believing we're in control of our responses when we're actually at the mercy of our surroundings. Consider Nadeem, a brilliant Pakistani executive working in London who had built a stellar reputation for his leadership and collaborative spirit. Yet whenever he found himself in meetings with Simon, the chief marketing officer, something shifted. Simon's pompous remarks and condescending tone would trigger Nadeem's defensive instincts, causing him to engage in heated arguments that left colleagues questioning his professionalism. Nadeem interpreted Simon's behavior through the lens of racial tension, feeling he couldn't back down without appearing weak. What he didn't realize was that he was the only one viewing their interactions this way. The breakthrough came when Nadeem learned to recognize the "Simon environment" as a specific trigger zone. Instead of being ambushed by his emotional response, he began to anticipate these moments and prepare for them differently. He understood that Simon wasn't personally targeting him but simply being his usual difficult self with everyone. This awareness allowed Nadeem to respond from a place of choice rather than automatic reaction. To master your environmental triggers, start by mapping your own trigger zones. Notice the specific people, places, and situations that consistently bring out your worst behavior. Are you patient everywhere except in traffic? Professional with everyone except your family? Once you identify these patterns, you can begin to forecast and prepare for them instead of being their victim. Remember, you can't control your environment, but you can control your response to it. The moment you recognize a trigger, you create a precious pause between stimulus and response where conscious choice becomes possible.
The Power of Daily Self-Questions
The most profound behavioral changes often begin with the simplest questions. But there's a crucial difference between passive questions that focus on what happens to us and active questions that focus on what we do for ourselves. Instead of asking "Am I happy?" which invites us to blame external circumstances for our mood, we should ask "Did I do my best to be happy?" This subtle shift transforms us from victims of our environment into active creators of our experience. Emily, a young culinary school graduate struggling with obesity, discovered this principle when she embarked on a sixty-day juicing program. Rather than simply tracking her weight loss, she committed to answering six active questions every night, including "Did I do my best to exercise today?" and "Did I do my best to advance my wine knowledge?" The magic wasn't in the questions themselves, but in how they forced her to measure her effort rather than just her results. The transformation was remarkable. When Emily saw eleven consecutive zeros next to her exercise question, followed by a single score of two, she couldn't ignore the reality of her choices. The visual evidence of her own effort, laid out in black and white, triggered a powerful emotional response. She joined a gym the next day and never looked back. By the end of her program, she had lost fifty-six pounds and passed her sommelier exam, but more importantly, she had learned to take responsibility for her own engagement with her goals. Create your own daily questions by identifying the behaviors that matter most to your transformation. Frame each one as "Did I do my best to..." and commit to scoring yourself honestly each evening. Start with just three to five questions focusing on the relationships and habits that will have the greatest impact on becoming who you want to be. The key is consistency over perfection. You're not aiming to score perfectly every day, but to maintain awareness of your effort and progress. This daily practice of self-reflection creates a feedback loop that naturally guides you toward better choices tomorrow.
Creating Structure for Lasting Change
Structure isn't the enemy of creativity or spontaneity; it's the foundation that makes both possible. When we rely solely on willpower and good intentions, we're setting ourselves up for failure because our environment constantly depletes our self-control throughout the day. By the evening, when we most need discipline to maintain good habits or resist temptations, we're running on empty. This is why the healthiest breakfast plans crumble before late-night snacking, and why our morning resolve to be patient dissolves by dinnertime. Alan Mulally understood this principle when he took over as CEO of Ford Motor Company during its darkest financial crisis. Rather than hoping his leadership team would spontaneously collaborate better, he created an uncompromising structure around their weekly Business Plan Reviews. Every executive had to identify themselves the same way, follow the same agenda format, and use the same color-coding system for their progress reports. Some initially resisted this rigid approach as beneath their executive status, but those who couldn't adapt to the structure found themselves looking for new jobs. The results spoke for themselves. Ford not only survived the financial crisis but thrived, and Mulally's structured approach became a model for organizational transformation. The structure didn't limit creativity; it channeled it productively by removing the hundreds of small decisions that typically fragment team meetings. Instead of wasting energy on format and process, everyone could focus on solving problems and supporting each other. Apply this principle to your personal change goals by creating non-negotiable structures around your most important behaviors. If you want to exercise regularly, lay out your workout clothes the night before, schedule it as an unmovable appointment, and remove any barriers that create friction. If you want to build stronger relationships, create structure around appreciation by scheduling weekly times to reach out to important people in your life. The strongest structures are often the simplest ones. Choose one key behavior you want to change and build an environment that makes the right choice automatic rather than relying on daily decisions. Your future self, operating under stress and depletion, will thank you for the structure you create today.
Summary
The path to becoming the person you want to be isn't found in grand gestures or dramatic transformations, but in the accumulation of small, conscious choices made in response to the triggers that surround us every day. As this exploration has shown, "We do not get better without structure," and that structure must be designed to work with our human nature, not against it. The most successful changes happen when we stop fighting our environment and start designing it to support our goals. Your transformation begins with a single, immediate action: choose one behavior that matters to you and create a simple daily question to measure your effort, not your results. Whether it's "Did I do my best to listen before speaking?" or "Did I do my best to express gratitude today?" start tonight with honest self-reflection and consistent measurement. Remember, you're not aiming for perfection; you're building awareness of your choices and creating the foundation for lasting change. The person you want to become is waiting just on the other side of your next conscious decision.
Related Books
Download PDF & EPUB
To save this Black List summary for later, download the free PDF and EPUB. You can print it out, or read offline at your convenience.
By Marshall Goldsmith
